Philosophers have been struggling to find an adequate classification of love for thousands of years. Love is a complex subject. It is fluid and changes over time as a relationship ages. What is love to an individual is not to another. Is love a feeling or an experiencing?
May I be so bold as to suggest that Sternberg’s model lacks an element of love i always believe is as important as the other three. That element of love is relational safety. Relational safety is due to how safe each spouse feels in the relationship. This elements asks the following inquiries. Is it safe to tell you will my secrets?
When a bond is only based on commitment people find empty love; any couple is just living along. There can also be combinations from two elements in a take pleasure in relationship, such as, intimacy and passion resulting in romantic take pleasure in. Other possible combinations are actually between intimacy and investment resulting in companionate love, and between commitment and passion resulting in fatuous love.
When a relationship draws on just one or two of these components any love relationship takes on a better character. A relationship founded only on intimacy, for instance, is no more than just taste a person. Similarly, when a bond is only based on passion the partnership is infatuation.
Regularly have a heart to heart talk with your spouse regarding these four elements of like. Honestly inquire how committed you are. Measure emotional closeness by how often most people talk and about what most people talk. Flirt, play, and build the passion between you. Resolve to be a safe and sound spouse. Relationships are all precisely how we relate. Do a lot of relating with your spouse this kind of week.
What is very important is that most pleased, healthy, and lasting romantic relationships contain all three of elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Sternberg calls such love consummate love.
Without relational safety real emotional intimacy will never develop into a deep and rich experience. Marital take pleasure in requires emotional intimacy, physical passion, commitment, and safety for it to flourish and last.
Can I genuinely open up my heart for you? Will you still love myself if you know who I really is? Will you use a disclosure against me later on? Will you laugh at all of us or joke at my charge if I tell you what I think? Is my middle safe in your hands? Certain keep my heart’s secrets safe?
It may be helpful to assess your relationship along those four elements of love. Is there one or more elements of love which can be not doing well in your rapport? Is your relationship well-balanced (regarding these elements)? Will there ever be any element that you may ought to work on? You may find it good for.
Is love a more cognitive concept; such as a choice? Precisely what is the difference between reading “I like you” and “I love you”? A long time ago I discovered an article* on the triangle of absolutely adore. Sternberg argues that a absolutely adore relationship consists of three factors, namely: intimacy, passion, and commitment.